Who’s at Fault

I had a great childhood. Although some would say it wasn’t a very typical one. While my siblings were out playing with their friends, I stayed inside with my mother, and watched countless hours of television. For me, the television was my playground. Sounds kind of silly, I’m sure, but it’s true.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I could have gone out and played with my siblings, and other kids in the neighborhood, but there aren’t a lot of games for a person on crutches to play.
During my early years, my parents provided a loving home for me and my siblings. And after I was diagnosed with cerebral palsy at the age of two, they began to search for the best medical treatment for me.
While doing so, they also had to deal with people close to them saying that how they were handling my situation wasn’t good enough. That if I was in the care of another relative, I would be walking already.
A few years ago, another person told them that if they had consulted the right doctors, that I could have started walking while I was still little.
It was so easy for these people to say these things, everybody thought they had the answer. But the statements they made just caused my parents to second guess themselves.
I was talking with my mother recently, and this subject came up somehow, and she said, “It’s no one else’s fault, but mine.”
She said that maybe if she hadn’t smoked while she was pregnant, that maybe I wouldn’t be disabled. But, the only reason I have this condition is due to lack of oxygen, which had occurred while my mother was having contractions, which she had no control over.
I will tell all of you reading this, that I am responsible for my not walking while I was younger. There is a reason why I haven’t tried as hard as I should have.
The reason is because I am terribly afraid of falling. I don’t know how to explain this to people, because it seems strange to people. Except my parents, and siblings.
I will say that no one is really to blame for my condition. It was given to me by God, and it’s because of that, that I consider this condition quite a blessing.


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